Tropassic Park

Oh dear. I feel a bit of an epic story about my adventures coming on... Indeed. Saturday August 18th saw me travel deep into the unknown south, beyond the familiar borders of Fremantle. The assignment? Observe the native inhabitants of Tropassic Park, namely 'The Empty Trail'. Armed with only a map, a few pens, my new uniform and a clipboard full of documents I arrived at 'The Post' before the sun. It was fucking cold. I quickly learned why 'The Empty Trail' was named such (technically I named it this myself when I was thinking up the concept for this blog but that's besides the point). It was rare event that I would catch a glimpse of any life throughout my stay in the park other than a myriad of exotic bugs and annoying birds I never knew existed. 'The Post' was the most comfortable location I could find which would allow me to survey the assigned trail. Sitting on one log while resting the feet on the other gave me a perfectly view of all my surroundings including the expected environmental touches of cigarette butts, bottles of alcohol, condoms and pornographic magazines. Best of all it was in the shade when the sun finally came up. I usually burn faster than toast. Sitting at 'The Post' all day required discipline which I simply don't have so every so often (aka when my backside got numb) I ventured into one of two nearby locations (whilst still keeping an eye on 'The Empty Trail'). The Dunelands were my favourite when the sun first came up. My fingers were absolutely frozen and the direct sunlight onto the sand provided a welcoming warmth. Towards the end of the day I basically got toasted like a marshmallow whenever went up into them. Within the Dunelands was a mysterious Gazebo recorded on my map as 'The Forbidden Shrine'. From this location one could sit comfortably all day and look over the ocean. Unfortunately it was hidden away and I could not complete my assignment if I succumbed to it's alluring actual benches. I began to explore 'The Vast Barrens' when the Dunelands became more inhospitable. Again, the location had clearly earned the named. Nothing was there. At all. Seriously. Only a handful of inhabitants wandered across it from 'The Empty Trail' into the 'Dunelands' during the course of the day. While there was nothing interesting about the location it provided a space to stretch my legs and dance like a retard to Crash (I want you all over me like L A M B, bitches.) when nobody was around. A few hours into the survey, a was contacted by the allusive Tropalicious Jerkasaur, suggesting that he would be migrating into Fremantle at some point. Because I was so fucking bored I relocated to a large clearing near the migration track. Unfortunately the Trop migrated via another route and thus I named the clearing the 'Plains of Devastation'. (You can probably begin to see just how much I completely had better things to do because there was so much to survey). On returning to 'The Post' I happened across a creepy homeless person sleeping in 'The Den of The Lost'. I gave this area a wide berth and continued on until the end of the day. Notes on Survival. Much neeed survival rations could be bartered from natives at the 'Gilted Oasis'. Unfortunately the moles gave me a raisin muffin instead of a chocolate chip one. :( The natives used a nearby 'Arachnid Lair' for their sanitation purposes. However the 'Dunelands' provided a much more hospitable environment and meant that I would not be gone from my post for too long. I will return to Tropassic Park on Tuesday at 6am-9am and then at 3pm-6pm. Yay for monies. (pspspspsps: I drew 2 new comics. Been a while)